we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
