So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
