This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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