i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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