I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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