I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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