I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
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Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
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He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???