I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
