I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We talked him into tasing himself.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?