im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dating After Heartbreak
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.