Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
