Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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