We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
