Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
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I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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