Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
