just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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