Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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