were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I don't think brook has ever known best
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
