If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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