Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
