a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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