pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
