All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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