btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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