He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
