I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
