she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
