I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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