I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
