i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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