I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
