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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
