We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize