I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
