Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
