Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
there is glitter all over my balls
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
