Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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