I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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