The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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