so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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