i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
