youre lurking in front of me
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
