halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
