I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
