that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
