I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
