good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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