I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
