I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
