I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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