Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
