i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
