your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
