Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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