I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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