I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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