the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
that is very illegal...i love you.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
