She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
