that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
