look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Blood and glitter go together right?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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