If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
