The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
