There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
