I'm lost and stupid without you.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
