New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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