Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
