weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
