she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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